after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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