Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize