Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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