bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize