I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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