Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
false alarm. still invincible.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
