I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize