i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
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My vagina is officially offended.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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