Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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