CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
