Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
