i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
