Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
