My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
