there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize