farters have to be the big spoon...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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