Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
