The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
