But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
