from now on my penis is your penis
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Randomize
