My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
