Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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