You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
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It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it glows. i had to have it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
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You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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