After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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