My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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