Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
