So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
