Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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