I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Randomize
