ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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