I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
