I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
