i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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