I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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