I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
