my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He shit in the fireplace
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
