No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
