ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
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He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
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I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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