People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
it's like heaven, but drunker
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
