why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
