I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You're a waste of cheezeits
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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