i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize