Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
