i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
