On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
one might say we're banned from that church
this beer tastes like vomit already
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
