yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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