look no pants
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
