You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
