so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
