i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
