we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
