You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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