there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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