wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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