that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
