is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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