he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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