why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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