Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
