hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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